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A Wholehearted Disciple
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If we were looking in scripture for an example of a wholehearted disciple, would we choose Thomas? Thomas, the Twin, was one of Jesus' chosen twelve, but some have the impression that he would not have been a very positive person. Did he not refuse to believe that Jesus had risen from the dead? Through history he has been known as 'Doubting Thomas'. At first sight he seems far less wholehearted in his discipleship than the eager enthusiastic Peter (though even Peter famously suffered a loss of nerve and courage on the night before Calvary). So was Thomas wholehearted? It depends what we mean by wholehearted. A modern dictionary gives the meaning as 'sincere and committed', and an older dictionary adds the thoughts of being earnest, generous, zealous. There are different sorts of wholeheartedness. For example, imagine the case of a plan being put forward to build a massive hydro-electric scheme which would involve removing inhabitants from their homes and submerging whole villages. The authorities would be intellectually wholehearted in their support for the scheme because they understood the benefits for the whole area of clean water, irrigation, and electric power. The local inhabitants would be passionately wholehearted against the scheme because their lives and their way of life were to be destroyed. All involved were wholehearted, some governed by their understanding and others by emotion. In the same way there are different sorts of Christian discipleship. We can give Jesus our loyalty because of what he is doing and what we believe about him. Or we may take him to our hearts as Master and Friend. So where did Thomas stand? There are three occasions recorded toward the end of John's gospel in which he comes out badly. The first was when Jesus had been told that his dear friend Lazarus was sick. Lazarus lived in Judea where Jesus' enemies were. After two days delay Jesus told the disciples they were going back there. "Rabbi, you can't do that. The Jews are out to kill you, and you're going back?" Jesus explained. Lazarus was asleep - dead - and Jesus was going to awaken him. As they set off, Thomas, characteristically pessimistic, said to them all, "Come along. We might as well die with him." What lack of optimism! This was not expectant faith, more like loyal despair. Is such a negative, bleak remark compatible with being a wholehearted disciple? It seems that it was Thomas who took a lead among the disciples, it is not reported that anyone else said anything. They must all have been equally dismayed at the risk Jesus was taking, but it was Thomas who urged them to follow Jesus into danger. It was in the spirit of 'Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him' (Job). The second occasion when Thomas spoke in a negative way was after the Last Supper. It was a very fraught occasion, emotions ran deep. Jesus had clearly indicated he was going to leave them, die. He spoke a long time with his disciples, giving them his last instructions, explanations, saying goodbye. He said, "Don't let this throw you. You trust God, don't you? Trust me. There is plenty of room for you in my Father's home. If that weren't so, would I have told you that I'm on my way to get a room ready for you? I'll come back and get you so you can live where I live. And you already know the road I'm taking." Christians in later years have treasured this promise of the 'home with many rooms' and have taken it to themselves. But Thomas blurted out, "Master, we have no idea where you're going. How do you expect us to know the road?" Thomas was taking Jesus literally when He meant something more. The disciples often did this, but on this occasion it was Thomas putting his clumsy foot in it. He was genuinely puzzled what Jesus intended to do. He wanted to understand. Someone has said about Thomas that he was 'too honest and far too much in earnest to be satisfied with any vague or pious expression'. He wanted to know what did Jesus expect of them, what was the route? Jesus explained. "I am the route" - the road - the way. It was not a matter of geography but of trusting him, obeying him. If you trust me, follow me, you will come safely to the Father's house. And if you want to know what the Father is like, look at me and you will see the truth about the Father. And if it is eternal life you are hoping for, I myself bring life from the Father. "I am the way, the truth, the life." He said all this because Thomas did not pretend that he understood Jesus, but asked a question. All this was for them to remember afterwards, and think about. Thomas's downright, realistic, no-nonsense attitude was apparent on the third occasion, which earned him his posthumous title of 'Doubting Thomas'. He had not been present on the first occasion when Jesus, alive from the dead, appeared to the group of disciples. "We have seen the Master" they told him when they met. He did not believe them. It was too good to be true. He could only believe it if he saw and touched for himself. Thomas of course is criticised. Why was he missing when Jesus appeared to them? He ought to have been there, with them. If he had, he would have avoided a week's uncertainty and bitter grief. Was he missing so as to bear in solitude his overwhelming disappointment and loss? It is also said that he should not have been so emphatic when he refused to believe the others. Could he not take their word for Jesus being alive? We, of course, were not there to hear the tone of his voice when he rejected their testimony. We do know he needed to assess the evidence for himself: seeing is believing. And Jesus met his need to see. And he did believe. And with what wholehearted joy he exclaimed, "My Master! My God!" Each one who follows our Lord wholeheartedly has a different personality. There are those like Peter in his enthusiasm who think they are secure in their obedience, and then are tested as Peter was, under the stress of Jesus' arrest. On the other hand, Thomas had an opposite tendency, he spoke less than was in his heart. When his mind told him that Jesus was running into extreme danger, he gave his opinion, but still followed. When his mind could not understand what Jesus was saying about the route to his Father's house, he had the courage to ask, and the reply he received is one for us all. When his mind could not accept the fanciful notion that Jesus had risen from the dead, he stated his personal need for hard evidence, and was personally given the evidence he required, to his great joy.
So may we in our different ways be equally wholeheated as we
follow our Lord. If we cannot understand our fellow disciples, let us
persevere. If there is risk, let us persevere. If our faith and courage do
not feel strong enough, let us persevere. Persevering we shall assuredly
enter into the joy of our Lord. |
