"Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these?" (John 21.15 NRSV) "Do you love me?"

 These were the words of Jesus to Peter when they met after the resurrection. Three times Jesus asked this question and it has become traditional for preachers and writers to link the 'three times' with Peter's denial of knowing Jesus during his Jewish Trial.

But there is scriptural evidence that Jesus had already seen Peter. In the wonderful resurrection chapter, Paul records, "that he appeared to Cephas, then to the twelve…." (1 Cor.15.5) and in any event, Jesus is hardly likely to have shown up Peter in front of his peers by Peter's repentance. Peter must have cried when he spoke to his Master for the first time following the resurrection and Jesus was unlikely to have demanded public confession of Peter's sin. What was important to Jesus was to reinstate Peter as a leader among His people and that He did in the words "feed my lambs" ‑ "tend my sheep" ‑ "feed my sheep". Many years later we have echoes of Christ's designation of Peter's pastoral role when that Apostle referred to being "examples to the flock" and "the Chief Shepherd appearing". Those questions by Galilee were to make Peter think carefully about his loyalty to Jesus and to make us think about our loyalty to Him too.

Jesus gave the disciples a 'new commandment' that they love one another as He had loved them (John 13.34). That makes it harder when the comparison is with Jesus who was without sin. But there is the standard ‑ an example in perfection of love. That love is demonstrated by the way we behave as brothers and sisters in Christ. Such love cannot walk away from brethren just because we may intellectually differ from them. Love cannot be expressed in separation (except perhaps in prayer and sending gifts). It is vital to our readiness to meet the Lord, that we express that love to all who love Him; to everyone, so far as it is humanly possible, in God's intimate family.

Yet the love that Jesus was talking about and is recorded in John 13,34 is not the love described by the Greek word 'storge' that is the love between those of closely related members in a human family. It is not even the love that is expressed by close friends ‑ by the Greek word 'phileo' which is the affectionate bond between those who have the kind relationship enjoyed by David and Jonathan.

It is this word 'phileo' which Jesus uses in John 21 in asking Peter for a third time "Do you love me Peter" and Peter's answer as expressed in J.B.Phillips' translation is "Lord you know I'm your friend". In the first two questions Jesus had said "Peter do you love (agape) me?" Peter in  reply had used the more human love and said "Lord you know that I love (phileo) you" In those first two questions, Jesus did not query Peter's affectionate friendship love. He is questioning Peter's deep spiritual love (agape). But in the third time of asking Jesus comes into line with Peter's own expression and says "Are you really my friend, Peter?" Jesus appears to be saying to Peter that unless he has a love like His own, he can never feed and tend His sheep and lambs? He is saying to Peter that these are not a flock to be bullied by arrogant stewards who really don't know what love is all about. There was going to be an old sheep that would face the shepherd out and be ready to do a bit of head butting. There are young inexperienced lambs that have found their way into to the next field and become lost. Those problems and a hundred others are not solved by bullying. There is only one way and that is the way of love ‑ agape love

It is a love that sees a neighbour in desperate need by the roadside and stops to relieve the suffering and make provision for recovery. It is a love that gives of its dearest and best in order to bring about salvation. It is a love forgives and really forgets, not once, not seven times, but goes on forgiving till it has forgotten how many time it has forgiven. It is a love which if by reason of its own humanity it hurts another, it make reparation as quickly as possible. It is a love that will die that others might live. It is so easy to talk and write about that love but living in that love ‑ well, that is a different matter.

The Greek word that describes love between husband an wife does not appear in the Scriptures ‑ it is 'eros'. Nevertheless, husbands and wives are called upon to love each other ‑ and it is the 'agape' love. Even when they do not feel like expressing the fond love as a married couple, they must still have 'agape' love. It is the absence of this love in family life that opens the way for dissension, division and ultimately separation. It is so in the Church. All kinds of sectarian excuses have been made for division within the Church but it is the absence of love that causes the situation to arise that Paul described in the 'unity' chapter ‑ 1 Cor.1. It is the unwillingness to 'bend' the arrogant determination that 'I am right'. That situation comes about because not enough time is being spent with the Lord alone ‑ because there is a lack of awareness in the life of a living Saviour directing the life. And every time we express a hurtful word or action we are saying 'Lord I don't love you'.

When we have mastered this quality of character, we can more easily go on to express this wonderful love to the antagonistic world.. If we haven't turned our back on our brother, we are more likely to turn the other cheek to the persecutor in the world.

This love really did not have much expression until Jesus came into the world. The Greek word 'agapao' was unknown in the ancient world but we find that those who were close to God began to develop it. Perhaps it is best seen in Moses' forgiveness of and intercession for Miriam; in the way in which Hosea treats Gomar and in some of the thoughts given by Jeremiah amid his persecution ‑ and by the alien who got him out of the pit.

It was the great Christian Apostle to the Gentile, Paul, who first really described it in his wonderful chapter of 1 Cor.13. More than one dear soul in the faith has said that all believers should read that chapter every day.

The standard is high, beyond any of the great religious philosophies of the world. It is a standard only obtainable through the power of God's Holy Spirit. The question Jesus still asks us ‑ "Do you love me" if so keep my commandments and the new commandment that He gave to the 'twelve' was that they should love one another.

This love of which Paul writes in 1 Cor.13, and which Jesus spoke to Peter about by the Sea of Galilee after His resurrection, the love which is translated from the Greek word 'agape' is the same love which was demonstrated by Jesus in the Parable of the Good Samaritan. Over and above any love for family and close friendship, translated from the Greek words "storge' and 'phileo' this stronger, richer love which Jesus brought into the world, described and demonstrated in His own life is a love which must exist in the marriage partnership. This is the love which really holds a couple together and which makes possible the high standard of love and enriches the bonds of love between husband and wife. So Paul would bring to our attention in Ephesians 5.

This love which cannot see another human being suffer mentally or physically without itself feeling the pain, this love which must go the extra mile with the enemy and must pray for those who persecuted it, this love which in the most important requirement in the Christian character, does not develop all at once, nor does it come about by intellectual strategies. This love is the fruit of being 'in the vine' of a spiritual union with Jesus.

It is a love which comes through prayer, and develops in the Father's discipline. Yet this is God's workmanship and nothing is too hard for the Lord. Let us give ourselves over to His master craftsman's skill assured that He is able to develop this love in our hearts and lives if we will but truly yield our all to Him.

DN