By the way - Self Surveillance

When reading, it is always interesting to come upon a striking phrase or expression. 'Self-surveillance' is a thought which jumped out from the page at me the other day. These days we hear a lot about surveillance, in the context of conflict. Suspected terrorists are under surveillance, as are criminals of various kinds. The intentions of an enemy may be judged from aerial surveillance, whether it be troop movements or the construction of a nuclear facility. But self-surveillance, what is the point of that, and is there any conflict involved? Doubtless we must keep a watch on our own thoughts and actions - as God does. "Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me, and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting" (Psalm 139.23,24). We must learn to see ourselves as God sees us, and act according.

Paul, in 2 Corinthians 10, regarded himself as being in a conflict situation. The conflict was in the realm of theories, arguments, the pride which closes people's minds to knowing God. So he says, "we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ" (v.5). Being on the same side as Paul in the conflict, we naturally keep close watch on our own thoughts in case we are slipping into disobedience. There is an old hymn, not often sung, which goes "I want a principle within of jealous, godly fear, a sensibility of sin, a pain to feel it near; I want the first approach to feel of pride or fond desire, to catch the wandering of my will, and quench the kindling fire. Quick as the apple of an eye, O God my conscience make; awake my soul when sin is nigh, and keep it still awake." The remedy for this tendency is to have a real love for the Father, and the remedy for any lapse is to humbly claim the forgiveness that Jesus came to give.

The result of our self-surveillance may turn out to be a guilt trip. It should not be so. We do not have to face our Judge unforgiven and with all our imperfections on our head, like the ghost in Shakespeare's Hamlet. It is not a case of walking on eggshells lest we should break some rule, but of realising that we are chosen, holy, dearly loved by God. That is why we are compassionate, kind, humble, gentle, forgiving.... (look at Colossians 3.1, 2ff, the portrait of a loving Christian life, love which overflows into all the relationships of daily life, as parents, children, husbands, wives, whatever.)

On the page in the book where I read the word self-surveillance, there were a number of ways stated in which we might, indeed should, examine our consciences. In this there is the danger of coming back to rules and guilt, but each glowing thought of Paul in Colossians needs to be worked out in practice as we go through life, so here are some points to think about:

Have I been simple and natural with everybody.... or allowed pride to grow in me?

Do I work for the peace and health of others, or do I close myself to their sufferings?

As a parent.... Do I give adolescent children enough liberty, and talk seriously with them?

Do I respect the autonomy of my married children, and avoid the jealousy of my sons or daughters in law?

As a citizen.... Do I do my duty by voting and paying taxes? Do I accept public responsibilities?

As a worker.... Do I show conscientiousness and goodwill in my employment, and give a good example?

As an employer.... Do I know my workers individually? Pay just, legal, humane wages? Think of my workers as my brothers (and sisters)?

In marriage.... Do I try to make my wife/husband happy? Understand her tastes.... let her know I love her?

This book, by the way, was written by the broadcaster and writer Libby Purves, and describes her upbringing as a Catholic. These questions she quotes from a French missal of the 1950s, and were intended for the 'examination of conscience approaching the confessional'. Be that as it may, and however different the religious tradition in which we may have been brought up, a little self-surveillance is never out of place. We each have questions we can ask ourselves. How good it is that we have forgiveness in Christ, and He will give us power to overcome.